A Story About Video Games... Kind of

So here is a story that not only has to do with video games but also Maxim Hair Color for Men. So when I was 13 my friends and I were hanging around a tailgate on the U of M golf course for the Michigan vs. Washington game. Back in those days it was easier for companies to set up tents and occupy locations on the U of M premise to advertise their products. This was generally something along the lines of throw a football through the rings and win a can of Monster Energy Drink, go head to head with another Wolverine fan in football trivia and win a free merkin etc. So here we are wandering around these promotional tents when all of a sudden we come across a particularly inviting tent that drew us forward and in that moment it dawned on us collectively that this will be the reckoning of our coolness, The Maxim Hair Dye For Men tent. Apart from the posters of suave dudes with amazing hair placed in improbably sexy situations with attractive sophisticated women the tent also had a cross promotion with wait for it….. the official The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring video game. Imagine our faces as our throats tighten with anticipation taking that first step into that canvased room. The “hair dye specialists” were attractive women in their early twenties eager to give any man the best damn hair day in his life, standing like hand maidens next to the thrones of dying. On the side of the tent adjacent to the sinks were two Xbox consoles just waiting for us to pick up their controllers and start playing. My two friends, both having brown hair, decided to go with the color lightening and bleaching whereas I took the more sensible route and opted for red. As it turns out most men attending a football game do not want to have their hair dyed and so for the better part of that afternoon we were the only patrons in the tent. This was fine with us because to make sure that our hair looked really good we hung around that tent all afternoon. We alternated turns in the dying chairs and playing the game. All I can really remember about the game itself was that you started off playing as Frodo and you threw apples at spiders or something like that. I remember thinking why waste perfectly good apples when there are rock everyone, but I digress. By the end of the day my friend Matt’s hair looked like a giant white chocolate monster had rubbed its butt all over it, Frank just looked straight up dirty, and I looked like a either a strawberry shortcake doll or a husky David Bowie impersonator. The point of the story is that just because something is associated in one way or another to Lord of the Rings doesn’t make it a good idea.